the Nair…in…the…shampoo thing is the most obvious trick in the world。 Remember that time? At
Isabel?s sleepover? When we were; like; eleven??
Serena just stared at her。
?Well;I remember。? Blair unscrewed the top of the bottle。 She didn?t even need to sniff it to
realize that someone had indeed tried to pull a switch on her?the powerful chemical fart stench of
the depilatory was unmistakable。 ?Bitches!? she swore。 ?It?s a fucking good thing I wanted to
have beach hair。? She touched her brown locks worriedly to make sure they were still there。 ?Now
it?s fuckingwar。 ?
Dignified and determined; Blair and Serena burst out of the guest house?s French doors and onto
the white pebble path leading to the swimming pool。 Blair surveyed the crowd; seeing now that
they were all men。 Every single one。Whoa。 A hundred; maybe a hundred and fifty people; and the
only girls in sight were her and Serena?and Ibiza and Svetlana; of course。
?My dad wouldtotally love this。? Blair almost wished that her fabulous gay dad; Harold Waldorf;
and his much…younger French boyfriend; Etienne or Edouard or whatever…thefuck his name was;
weren?t off living the good life in the south of France。 She wanted someone besides Serena to
witness what was about to happen。
?My girls are here!? Bailey Winter emerged from a thicket of silver…haired news…anchory types;
all of whom seemed to be wearing blue blazers and white pants; despite the fact that it was easily
eighty degrees。 Bailey himself wore a similar ensemble; but with three…quarter…length sleeves and
pant legs that left his neon…orange…and…hot…pink argyle knee socks and white nubuck saddle shoes
exposed。 Skipping up the path to Blair and Serena; he extended one chubby hand to each of them;
his entourage of five yelping pugs following closely on his heels。
?e; girls; make a Bailey sandwich。? He giggled。 ?Hopefully it won?t be the only threesome
I?m in tonight。? He grinned and gave a little wave to the shirtless DJ。
?Lovely party;? Blair plimented Bailey; noticing the many barely clothed waiters circulating
with champagne flutes。
?Thank you; darling!? Bailey squealed。 ?Step; step; ladies。 We need to get you some drinks!? He
dashed off in the direction of the bar; pulling the two along with him like puppies on a
leash。 ?Bartender!? he barked at the golden surfer…boy model…type who was behind the bar。 His
uniform; like those of the rest of the waitstaff; consisted of a low…cut Bailey Winter Gar?on
cotton…and…cashmere vest over his perfectly defined bare chest。
?What do my pets want?? Bailey cooed。
?Two Negronis。? Blair turned to scan the crowd; a blur of white trousers against the green grass;
perfect haircuts and impressive muscles peeking out of too…short sleeves。
Then she spotted them: Ibiza and Svetlana; clad in white。 Copycat bitches。 Svetlana wore a tacky;
stretchy asymmetrical dress that emphasized her basically nonexistent chest。 Ibiza had squeezed
herself into a backless white hot pants jumpsuit that looked like something Blair?s mother might
have worn to Studio 54; like; thirty years ago。 Nasty。
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