and bit down upon them crudely with eagerness and longing。
“Coins counterfeited by the Veians are everywhere;” she said; smiling。
As soon as she’d left; I warned Hayriye not to let the children upstairs。 I
went up to the room where Black lay; locked the door behind me and cuddled
up eagerly next to Black’s naked body。 Then; more out of curiosity than desire;
more out of care than fear; I did what Black wanted me to do in the house of
the Hanged Jew the night my poor father was killed。
I can’t say I pletely understood why Persian poets; who for centuries
had likened that male tool to a reed pen; also pared the mouths of us
women to inkwells; or what lay behind such parisons whose origins had
been forgotten through rote repetition—was it the smallness of the mouth?
The arcane silence of the inkwell? Was it that God Himself was an illuminator?
Love; however; must be understood; not through the logic of a woman like me
who continually racks her brain to protect herself; but through its illogic。
So; let me tell you a secret: There; in that room that smelled of death; it
wasn’t the object in my mouth that delighted me。 What delighted me then;
440
lying there with the entire world throbbing between my lips; was the happy
twittering of my sons cursing and roughhousing with each other in the
courtyard。
While my mouth was thus occupied; my eyes could make out Black looking
at me in a pletely different way。 He said he’d never again forget my face
and my mouth。 As with some of my father’s old books; his skin smelled of
moldy paper; and the scent of the Treasury’s dust and cloth had saturated his
hair。 As I let myself go and caressed his wounds; his cuts and swellings; he
groaned like a child; moving further and further away from death; and it was
then I understood I would bee even more attached to him。 Like a solemn
ship that gains speed as its sails swell with wind; our gradually quickening
lovemaking took us boldly into unfamiliar seas。
I could tell by the way he was able to navigate these waters; even on his
deathbed; that Black had plied these seas many times before with who knows
what manner of indecent women。 While I was confused as to whether the
forearm I kissed was my own or his; whether I was sucking my own finger or
an entire life; he stared out of one half…opened eye; nearly intoxicated by his
wounds and pleasure; checking where the world was taking him; and from
time to time; he would hold my head delicately in his hands; and stare at my
face astounded; now looking as if at a picture; now as if at a Mingerian whore。
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